IX Riding Through the Clouds on a Moon Goddess

One of the lost souls that ended up in our little magickal household had a motorcycle that he was trying to sell. It was a beautiful midnight blue Honda 750 that I fell in love with and agreed to buy. Well actually take over the payments for. I named her Diana after the moon goddess and spent many hours riding her around the Blue Ridge mountains. I learned a great deal about how to be Zen riding that bike. I would say she in many ways introduced me to mindfulness before I knew what to call it. All I knew is that at moments I felt part of that motorcycle and in those times riding her was fun and simple. In the times when I would try to control her, I would feel more out of control. I remember riding her over a grated bridge for the first time. I felt like I was going to die for sure. Four lanes of speeding traffic around me. I hit the grate doing about 70 and the bike felt like it was going to slide out from under me. The more I tried to keep her straight the worse it got. So I just let her lead the way and wobble. I trusted this machine not to kill me, and she didn’t. It was a big lesson in letting go and letting things happen.

By this point in my life I was the only employee in the radio station, so I sat alone all day and studied or meditated. I was far from a nice guy with all my shadow work, and for the most part I think people feared me more than respected me. Magickally speaking of course. So I wasn’t what you would call happy, but I was excited and intensely into my study. It was the perfect time for a road trip.

My cousin was getting married and I decided to ride Diana from Virginia to Michigan taking a scenic route through the mountains. I cleared the time off with my boss, prepared Diana with new tires and battery and plotted my trip. I didn’t know then but that trip would be one of those life altering trips on several levels.

I set out on my trip looking like a heavy metal road warrior, with long black hair, spiked leather jacket, black lineman’s boots that went up to my knees. It was obvious wherever I went I was most likely not from there. I remember one of the first places I stopped to eat, it was a little local diner. There was this kid probably around ten or so that walked with a limp. He stared at me the whole time I was eating and then followed me out when I was leaving. He was one of those people that you could read his whole story in his eyes. curious but very sad eyes. I sat on my bike and he got on his bicycle as if he was going to ride off with me. I think I gave him a ride on the bike, I’m not certain, I do remember we talked and he was all aglow by the time I left. I guess It would have been cool to have this dangerous looking guy be nice and cool to you. Kinda like getting a nod from one of the cool kids. Even in all my darkness, I had such a strong parental motivation, I would do anything for any kid. It was this that would later save me from myself in years to come.

Riding through the Smoky Mountains was amazing. I hit the mountains right at dusk as the clouds were descending. I hit a rest stop because I was soaking wet from the moisture within the clouds. I have to say that was such a mystical experience to know that I was riding a motorcycle through clouds and getting wet from rain that had never fallen. I stayed there for a bit and then moved on riding not only my bike Diana, but a spiritual high from riding in the clouds.

As the trip wore on I was getting tired, although I physically felt awake. The wind hitting my body at 90 miles an hour kept me up. My brain however started to drift off into hallucinations. This happened a couple of times, but it was no big deal, it was like day dreaming. Then there was something in the road, it looked like part of a building. Like a barn that had fallen off a truck or something. As I got closer I realized it was a small white house in the middle of the highway. I swerved to miss it only to wake up! I had completely fallen asleep going 90 on a motorcycle. I had tried to avoid a house that I had dreamed. It was time to pull over and get some sleep.

This is when things got all “Twilight Zone” on me. I pull into this motel being the only thing in site. Walk into the lobby looking like something out of "Road Warrior" still dazed from almost crashing into a dream house. I get my room and then ask the girl behind the counter where I was. She said “In Woolsey Ohio”, to which I asked. “Where is Woosley Ohio?. She answered, “Somewhere in Ohio.” I thought to myself, oh shit, i’m still on my bike dreaming.

I started to walk to my room and there were all these kids in tuxedos in the parking lot. With nothing in sight but the highway I was certain now that I was still dreaming. Once I got to my room and called my cousin. I asked him to get a map and look up Woolsey Ohio. He said he couldn’t find it, I was sure I was in the “Twilight Zone” or was asleep. So I told him I was going to go to bed and either I would wake up in Woolsey or on the side of the road. We both laughed and I went to bed.

Obviously I was really in this strange place in Ohio, or this is a very long dream. Either way, I got up and hit the road, not wanting to be late for the wedding. So I made my way into Michigan stopping at my Grandmother’s house to get ready, and she lovingly brushed the tangles out of my wind knotted hair.

After the wedding I rented a motel room for the first night, had dinner with my mom and step-dad, then set out to connect with some old friends. The most eventful part of my stay was my reconnecting with Terri. I ended up spending a great deal of time with her, playing with the kids, giving them all rides on the bike and generally falling in love with the idea of a companion, a family, a house, all that. Before I left town, I felt like I would come back sooner than later. I had made up my mind that I wanted a white picket fence a couple of kids and a dog. Who better to share this with than the woman that I would fly around the astral plane with. My life was complicated in Virginia however, so I had to go back and sort it, but that turned out to be easier than I thought.

The ride back to Virginia was not as eventful as the ride up, however it did have its moments. One of the most memorable took place somewhere in the Ohio Valley. I had seen some signs that said to gas up before reaching such and such mile marker. I of course ignored these warnings thinking that I would be fine on a motorcycle. I was sadly mistaken, I found myself in the middle of the Ohio Valley riding on the reserve tank hoping to find someplace to gas up.

I pulled off the interstate into a small mining town with a whole lotta nothing in an attempt to find some gas. I eventually found a little gas station with a couple of “good ol’ boys” sitting on the back of a pickup truck looking at me in the most unwelcoming way. I pumped my gas and went inside to pay. The old man behind the counter asked me how much I pumped, I kinda shrugged. This must have angered the gentlemen, because he then began to educate me about the workings of his little establishment. He said “This ain’t the city with fancy pumps, I can’t tell how much you pumped unless you tell me”. So I handed him a twenty and explained I was on a motorcycle so it couldn’t be more than that and began to walk out the door.

I was almost to my bike when I hear the old man calling to me. He looks at the pump and begins to make change. As he handed me my change he almost whispered to me. “Now get on that thing and get the hell out of here, I can hold those boys off for awhile, but not for long”. To which I responded “Yes sir”, hopped on my bike and jetted off.

On my return to Virginia, I was disappointed to learn that things had began to unravel. My boss had hired two people to fill in for me when I was gone and told me it was my job to fire them. My living situation had got stranger as one of my roommates was on a Mediterranean Cruise in the Navy. Another left, and the newest moved his girlfriend in.

With all these changes I decided to move in with a couple of other Navy guys I had met. It didn’t last long, I lost my job at the station and had a chip on my shoulder the size of Taxes. It was the first chance that I had to really play with a computer. My roommate got a new machine from his dad, and for a short time I had use of his old one. That was the beginning of my love of technology.

As things fell apart, I thought about Terri and the little family in Michigan. I most likely wanted it to fall apart so I could pursue that life. When things came to a head, that is what I did. I went back to Indiana, knowing that I was going back to see what would transpire with Terri. I didn’t want to be the asshole I had become, I thought maybe a family was what I needed.

My time in Virginia had served me well, I had learned more in those couple of years than I thought possible. I had created a working magickal system, designed a Tarot deck with a science fiction artist. Stood naked on a cliff in the Blue Ridge mountains invoking dim gods, sat spitting distance from fighter planes performing touch and go drills, ran a radio station, fell in love, touched nothingness, snuck onto a military base or two. My work there was done I was ready to move on.