As
my time in Virginia went on I left the occult shop and took on a job
at a local radio station. I feel into the job because the owner was a
client of mine and came to me from time to time for readings. He
mentioned that he needed someone to fill in and run the board a
couple of nights a week. It was perfect for me because it was down
the street from our house, in the middle of the woods and many of my
favorite people worked there. So I started a rather strange career in
the radio business.
My
explorations into the meaning and access of Ain only grew as I now
had a hermetic life in which I could work on the concepts that were
developing in my mind. This was the true birth of the Black Sun
System as well as my first direct experience with Nothingness that
would so drastically change the course I was on.
I
began to work with the Tree of Life on a purely numerical basis
utilizing my background in Numerology. So when I was working with
Yesod the ninth Sephiroth on the Tree of Life, I did everything in
increments of nine. This evolved to the point that I would string
together the verses in holy books numbered nine, made tapes from cd's
with only the ninth track on them and so on. The idea was to begin
to resonate at the same frequency as the number nine and hence aid in
my invocation of Yesod.
I
did this with every Sephiroth that I worked with. Still I needed a
way to experience each of the Cabalistic worlds in a separate and
complete way. Only by doing this could I accomplish the ultimate
goal of having a direct experience with Ain. In my work and
isolation the answers started to come to me like a madman’s vision
it started to consume me. I was becoming the magickal process itself
already. How far could I push it until insanity was the only
outcome?
In
order to separate the worlds I started to work them in their
descending order. Atziluth being the one where Deities live and
hence the most subtle. It is associated with fire and the Divine
names of the Cabala. So I would work with only fire, Deities and the
color associated with Atziluth for a month. Then I would go do Briah
and do the same, then Yetzirah and Assiah. Each time working only
with the symbols of that world and the number of the specific
Sephiroth. Reaffirming that idea through my invocations. In other
words I would “Invoke” Atziluth Yesod, then Briah Yesod and so
on, doing everything nine times or things listed as nine. This made
me seem like a crazy person, but it worked, my every thought was in
line with the magickal intention. When I moved to Hod I did the
same, did everything in eights, only listened to track eight on a cd
and so on. Bringing it down through all four of the cabalistic
worlds. The very act of living became my ritual starting with my
morning invocation and ending with my nightly invocation.
As I
worked this process through a couple of times, I realized that number
was a huge component and perhaps held the key to my desire to
experience Ain. So I started doing some more research and
experimentation. I took a deeper look into Hebrew Gematria, an
ancient form of numerology. Within this system they state that any
two or more things with the same numerical value have a harmony or
relationship of some kind. For this reason they do not reduce the
numbers down to base nine like what is done in Pythagorean
Numerology. What I mean by this is that in Pythagorean Numerology if
you have something with a value of 224 it is reduced by addition
2+2+4=8 or 993 would be 9+9+3=21=3 and so on. In Gematria the 224
would stay 224 and the 993 would stay 993, this limits the things
that would have the exact same value and so seemed more accurate to
me. I also strongly agreed with the idea that things having the same
numerical value had a relationship. I had found that to be true in
my own experiments. I found by listening to only track 9 on 20
different cd's, it told a story and conveyed the ideas represented in
Yesod. I began to see the universe as less chaotic and began to see
these numeric threads throughout.
Based
on all this I decided that I would work within the Gematria idea of
raw numbers showing the harmonious relationship of ideas. I would
also keep the Pythagorean idea that all things could be represented
by number, including the idea of Ain. I further started to explore
Plato’s and Pythagoras’ ideas of geometry. Plato surmised that
all number could be represented in geometry and in essence geometry
within nature is mathematics. Pythagoras felt the same including his
research on re-occurring geometric patterns within nature and how
they comply to mathematical formulas. I realized from all this four
very important things. All things could be represented by number,
all numbers could be represented by geometry, geometry is naturally
occurring and because of all of the above, I could recreate any
energy geometry and use that geometry to invoke it like a sacred
geometric alphabet.
In
all of this the concept of Hebrew Gematria and harmony of number was
also rattling around in my head. Through further research and
pondering I started thinking about wave theory and harmonics.
Working at a radio station at the time, I got a crash course in how
frequencies work, why they work and basic wave theory. According to
wave theory the strongest vibration always wins. Put a bunch of
instruments in the same room and play one of them, the others if they
have any parts that vibrate, strings, heads so on, they will all
vibrate to the instrument you are playing. Pound a drum in a room
with a piano and the strings will vibrate to the rhythm. Do the
opposite and the snare will vibrate to the pounding of the piano
keys. I began to think that the reason my way of working the Tree of
Life was so successful was because of this. I was causing myself to
harmonize by surrounding myself with the number of the Sephiroth. I
felt the effects would be even more so if I could surround myself
with a geometric figure of that number. I began to experiment with
this idea on myself and other unsuspecting citizens.
My
first task was to create a geometric alphabet of sorts to
consistently represent number. My thoughts went back to Lillian
Majors and how she taught me numerology. She always talked about
numbers being dynamic and changing based on the way other numbers
would act upon them. This eventually led to the way that I would
draw numbers, nesting them inside of each other to create a glyph
that would appear to be spinning. I would also try to look at
numbers the way that she did, try to get a feel for them to tell
their story. I ended coming up with I have since termed the
evolution of number which gives the why and how of the geometric
representations of each number.
After
creating my geometric glyph it was time to figure out how to use
them. So I would work with each number starting with one drawing
symbols and vibrating a corresponding cabalistic God name with them
and see what would happen. Let me explain this better, we will use
four as our example. I decided of course to use a square to
represent four. This may seem very obvious, but there were many
variables that I thought about, It has four points, symbolizes the
four elements, is the shape of the foundation of most structures and
so on. So in meditation I would visualize myself in a purple square
and “vibrate” or chant the God name EL, because in Hebrew it is
equal to four. I would then wait to see how the figure would react.
If it seemed to grow brighter or the energy around me changed I knew
I had the right figure, if not then I would try a different one. In
the end I think the only thing that mattered was the number of
points, the geometric manifestation of the number itself. However, I
did this work with one through ten until I was satisfied with my
results.
I
then had to test these figures out on others to see if they had a
consistent result. I would go to public events and visualize symbols
around people while “vibrating” the God Name and see what kind of
response I got. After the first few times I tried this, I realized I
was onto something. The reaction they would have was immediate and
obvious. I once went to a high school football game down the street
from our house. I knew no one at the game or the high school for
that matter. I went to the top of the bleachers and waited. I seen
a group of people walking by, I put the symbol of 4 around one of
them, then myself and vibrated the name EL, known as the God of
friendship in some circles. He stopped in his tracks turned, walked
right up the bleachers to me, told me he liked my boots and asked my
name. We ended up being friends for the rest of my stay in Virginia.
When I asked him about it later he said he just felt compelled to
say something about my boots. I mean they were some pretty cool
boots, but still.
One
of the crazier things took place at a reception. Everyone was
standing around like a school dance, the dj was trying but no one was
getting into it. So I placed a heptagram over the crowd and used a
God name associated with Venus to vibrate it. The place went crazy.
I remember standing in the center of this sudden whirlwind thinking I
was some kind of god, it was quite amazing.
After
a couple more of these type of experiments I was ready to start
working with the figures in conjunction with my cabalistic work. I
then turned my attention back to symbolizing Ain. I went back to
numerology and mathematics, and the answer hit me. Everything began
to fall into place. If I looked at Ain as truly non-existence or
before existence, then it would make sense that it would be a
negative number. So I decided that working with the decimal points
in numbers could allow me to symbolize the moving of energy in and
out of reality.
Based
on this I began to work the the Sephiroth in there pre-existent form.
In other words if I was working with Tiphareth, I would begin with
Ain Tiphareth. I would symbolize this as .0006 using my fancy new
geometric alphabet. So instead of the traditional four worlds, I had
the three stages of pre-existence plus the four worlds. I worked the
tree in this way for awhile and soon added a couple of more stages
because I was able to observe this process long enough to really get
a good feel for how ideas went from nothingness into reality. I also
started to abandon the Tree of Life at that point and work with pure
number and concepts at that point. I would pick an idea and deduce
its number and geometry and then invoke it daily using the same
method I used on the Sephiroth.
Through
all of this experimentation I developed what is now known as the
Black Sun System. It would be my means of spiritual growth over the
next decade or so. Here is a brief outline of all of the eleven rays
that ended up evolving out of this process.
Ain
The
first Ray of the Black Son is Ain, which is Hebrew for Nothing. It
represents the idea itself, not yet having form or shape, or even
thought. It is the concept of a thing. Ain is the dark womb from
which all things come, the Darkness of Genesis. Mathematically it is
.000 and is represented by three interlaced black circles to
represent the ever expanding darkness. Ain corresponds to the idea of
Nuit, for Nuit is the Mother of all and that which is ever expanding
Its magickal weapon is a Black Sphere.
In
the Darkness I conceive Thee.
Ain
Soph
The
second ray of The Black Son is Ain soph, Hebrew for No Limit. It
represents the two opposite extremes of the idea. All truth must
contain its opposite in order to exist, in other words, light needs
darkness, good needs bad and so on. So Ain Soph are those two
opposites that will allow the energy to exist. It is the clashing of
these two opposites that give it its power to exist. Like positive
and negative electrons, both are needed for matter to exist. This is
why it is without limit. There is an infinite amount of power
derived by the clashing of the two opposites. Mathematically it is
.00 and is symbolized by the symbol for infinity being two circles
entangled. One half is white and the other Black, to symbolize the
concept of the two opposites. Its magickal weapon is a White and
Black Candle or tingsha bells to represent the clashing of the two
energies.
Through
thine opposites I empower Thee.
Ain
Soph Ur
The
third ray of The Black Sun is Ain Soph Aur, which is Hebrew for
Unlimited Light. It is the energy released by the clashing of Ain
soph and hence the unlimited light of creation. It is the Idea
complete having balanced its opposites. It is also the resolution of
the conflict in Ain soph through balance. It is the concept
perfected. Mathematically it is .0 and is symbolized by an empty
grey or silver circle. This represents the cosmic egg and its
unlimited nature. It is grey to symbolize the mixing of the white
and black of Ain Soph and the fact that its force is derived from
them both.Its magickal weapon is a silver or grey candle.
Through
Thine Balance I perfect Thee
Adonai
The
fourth ray of the Black Sun is Adonai, which is Hebrew for Lord or My
Lord. In this case we use it in its more personal use as My Lord.
Meaning the Higher Self or the Holy Guardian Angel. It is that
power that guides us toward our works of greatness and is responsible
for what we term Divine intervention. In this ray we find our
perfected selves. So perfect in fact that it is beyond the physical,
bridging the gap between the Unmanifest and the manifest. We
find here the Lords of the Tree of Life and the Guiding intelligence.
This is the seat of the Godhead. Mathematically it is the decimal
point. Being in between negative and positive, yet defining them
both. We symbolize it by the symbol of Spirit, as a Brilliant
spoked Wheel. Its magickal weapon is the Lantern, symbolizing
the lamp that lights our way.
Through
Thine Guidance I reveal Thee
Atziluth
The
fifth ray of The Black Sun is Atziluth, Hebrew for Nobility or
Emanation. It is the first manifested realm and corresponds with
Fire. It is the world of Archetypes and so is the home of the Gods
and Goddesses of all religions as well as the Demi-gods and
Demi-goddesses. It is the transformative flame of the Passions
and the Cleansing flame of the spiritual aspirations. It is
symbolized by the red upright triangle of fire. Its magickal weapon
is a red candle.
Through
Thine passion I inflame Thee.
Briah
The
sixth ray of the Black Sun is that of Briah, Hebrew word for
Creation. So it is obviously the ray were creation takes
place after the cleansing of Atzuluth. It corresponds
with water and so is symbolized by the blue inverted triangle of
water. It is the home of all of the Arch angelic and Arch demonic
forces. It is the watery ray of the emotions and so being is the
muscle for all creation. Its magickal weapon is the cup.
Through
Thine heart I createth Thee.
Yetzirah
The
seventh Ray of the Black Sun is Yetzirah, Hebrew for Formation. It
is the home to the Angelic Choirs and Demonic Legends. It
corresponds to Air and so is symbolized by the Yellow Air Triangle.
It is the mental realm were the formation takes place. Its magickal
weapon is a Yellow Rose or the Censer.
With
Thought I Form Thee.
Assiah
The
eighth Ray of the Black Sun is Assiah, or Action in
Hebrew. It is the visible universe and so corresponds to the
element Earth. It is symbolized by the invert green Earth Triangle.
It is the home to the Lower Angels and discarnate spirits. It is
also the realm of planetary influence and planetary intelligence.
Being Earth it is the world of the material universe. The first
of the physical stages. Its magickal weapons are
talismans, alphabets, the Earth Pentacle, and Bread.
On
the Earth I give motion to Thee.
Adam
The
ninth ray of the Black Sun is Adam, Hebrew for Humanity and
symbolizes the physical body. It is symbolized by the Earth
Pentagram and is the realm of the flesh. It rules of the physical
body and the body of god according to the cabala. Its magickal
weapon is the body, and Salt.
With
Thine body I Invoke Thee
Ruach
The
tenth ray of the Black Sun is Ruach, which is Hebrew for breath and
is used here to represent the soul. It is the primitive animal soul
within us. It is our inner motivation the star within us. It is
symbolized by a black circle and cross and its magickal weapon is the
lamp to represent the ever burning internal flame and the Black
Mirror to represent the reflections into the soul.
In
thine soul I become Thee
Atovam
The
final ray of the Black Sun is the Atomic realm and rules over matter
itself. It is symbolized by the atomic symbol of circles
overlapping like an opening flower and is the glue that holds all of
the sun together. Its magickal weapon is an empty container. This
is the final stop of the energy before it goes back into the darkness
of Ain to begin the cycle over again.
Out
of the Matter I Maketh Thee
Through
working with this system I had my first of many encounters with
emptiness. The first one being of such a profound impact that it
would take several years to put it into perspective. It was the
result of one of the first times of utilizing this system. I believe
I was still working within the Tree of Life. In fact I think I was
working with the Sephiroth known as Binah which means understanding.
So in essence I began by invoking Ain Binah or the understanding of
Nothing. So it stands to reason that I would have a profound and
direct experience with emptiness by doing such. I remember little of
the actual experience, but what I do remember was this profound
awareness of all things coming in and out of existence. I was so
deeply affected by this experience that I walked around for months
afterward stating that “It was all nothing in the end”. That
became my mantra, my philosophy and the guiding thought in my life.
I saw the black that I wore now as a symbol of this sublime
emptiness. This origin and destination of all things. This was one
of the most difficult periods of my life spiritually. Through this
experience, I had lost all reason for living, I felt like all our
efforts were futile, but at the same time felt so transcendent
through this knowledge.
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